Deadly, lethal, potent.

Does that look evil enough?? :)

What hurts the most.

Is being so close.
Watching through windows, wondering if I'm okay.

Secrets stolen from inside.

Hurts unfurling, but if you fall, I will catch you.

Time after time.

The above doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to.

Feels like deja vu. AGAIN. Really haunting. I fell, and it shattered. Now, I'm scared I fall and it shatters again. Humans are so fragile. Deja vu is lethal. Dreams are deadly. But reality is deadlier. Especially if it keeps rearing its ugly head. Smashing it on ours.

Sorry about the emo-ness of these posts. Really going through a period of downhill and blogging actually helps me release my anger, pent up feelings and emotions. I can never really express myself. Sigh*

I actually do believe in the conspiracy theory, it does exist you know?? Sometimes, we feel that someone is out there to get us; and when we tell our close friends or even family,they'll diss it off as paranoia. But let me tell you this. If your gut instinct is really strong on that issue or matter, trust your own feelings then. But of course, NEVER let paranoia get the better of you :) Hmm, just went through a game of Russian Roulette. What's scary is, it's not physical. When people play that game with you and its a mental game, then you have to be standing on the tips of your toes. Or as far to the tips as you get.

I'm on a mental cliff right now. I'm on the edge. I'm looking down and suddenly, I don't lose my balance but I'm falling. Perhaps it was by my own inclination. I'm falling and flashes of the past run through my mind.But, I never reach the bottom. How scary is that?? To fall and never reach the bottom. To be caught in your own web and vortex of thoughts. They try to strangle you but in a subtle more gentlemanly way.

Sorry if I'm scaring you right now. Sometimes, mental pain and emotional stress does lead to some sadistic writings on my part. Once scarred, always scarred. Hard to change the cell type on the scabs.

You know you're going crazy when you realized you're at the dead end but you think it still goes on. When you fall and never reach the bottom but you keep falling and falling and falling. You know you're going crazy when dreams are your reality. You know you're going crazy if you ever start blogging like me :P

Night, have sweet dreams my dearies, LOL.

Love, the sadistic reality-in-check thinker.