Thanks for understanding.

FINALLY!! It's about time. Thank you Priya for getting me.

I didn't know how to put this in words. Now I do. I feel desperate.
Desolate.

Caged.
Raw.


Misunderstood.
Unheard.

Bursting.
Nuts, I'm going bonkers, crackers!!


Pacey.
UTAR just wants to be a HUGE MOULD!! Creating PERFECT ASIANS!! Screw them!!This asian-ness just does NOT belong in some of us. Priya and me included.

Just because I don't conform, I'm a misfit. STOP being objective!! The world out there is More than textbooks say it is, fellow people of UTAR!! My uni, it just dumbs you down,. Just like what Priya said.

I'm a desperado!! I've to get out of here as soon as I can. I'm no rebel, just misunderstood!! Priya, you made my day!! FINALLY SOMEONE GETS MY FEELING OF DESPERATION!! I'm no Asian robot and I believe in individuality!!


I date who I like. I can't take people in Kampar staring at me when I walk with a bunch of my Indian friends. Especially in campus!! STOP IT!! STOP this racist fascist crap!! It's not getting anywhere!!


I'm not an animal you can train or jell-o you can mould. I'm so sorry, all my lecturers that I hurt. I don't belong. I know it. I feel it. I'm bone dry. I know you had REALLY high hopes in me, Miss Rajesh. Mr Pek and Ng. BUT I'M NO ROBOT!! I cannot perform under pressure!! TEST AFTER TEST ISN'T GONNA MAKE US ANY SMARTER!!

I'm smart and it isn't judged on how well I do in each test. I do want to see myself excel in other areas too, not just have an over sized brain. Oh please, do you get my drift?? I'm just bone tired. Bone tired. I don't know what to say anymore. I wish I had something to numb the pain. And it just gets worse and worse. Where's my light at the end of the dark tunnel?? You,you might have cervical cancer.
You, your heart has a hole and the doc gave you 10 years max to live?? You're only 18!! And WHY DIDN'T YOU TELL ME EARLIER?? When you knew the pain it'd cause??

Sigh.All I have are pills. A tonne!! To use or not to use. Still contemplating.



Adios amigos.