Twisted.

That's one my besties, Vie.

Sorry if I'm seeming more and more twisted. yet, I don't see the point of apologizing.

Weird is good. Everyone is unique. I am an emotional and internal sadist.

Life. It should just end when you see a black hole coming yet you don't know how to react to it or what to expect of it. I know, traumatic innit. Sometimes, I think I know why humans react that way to certain things. I put myself in the shoes of a terrorist or a wife-beater. Or a murderer perhaps?? I understand what runs through their minds. I'm not condoning the evil deed mind you. Let me repeat. I'M NOT CONDONING THE EVIL DEED!! I just seem to kind of understand the psychology behind it?? Sometimes we have to have the mind of a sceptic. To doubt everything and question because naivety could be the greatest flaw of all.

Most of those "wicked people" have some substantial amount of reason behind their actions. It's just that they go unheard because honestly, which judge or jury would want to hear of the reasons to why the man brutally bludgeoned and slaughtered his wife and 2 kids with a sledge hammer and then a chainsaw. Right?? Child molesters and child rapist get beaten up and even killed in most prisons. And I don't blame the perpetrators to that crime of beating up the man. He deserved it but yet again, who are we to judge?? Right?? Humans. Very complex creatures.

How'd we know, most terrorists come from war-stricken countries. They were taught to use firearms at a very young age. All they knew was war, and that other races should be wiped out.

Tired. of. Crap.

Sometimes. Life. Seems. Pointless.

Goals. Get. More. And. More. Unachievable.

Gosh. I'm just super emo freak today and I really think it brings out the underlying internal sadist in me. Yet, I'm still called a baby grasshopper by other better sadists.

So yeah. Maybe wife-beaters were victims of abuse themselves. Sometimes there are things a person will not want to say. Maybe for instance, the murderer (a guy) kills the victim (also a guy) in a brutal manner. He could have just wanted payback. You know, maybe he was raped by the victim himself in an earlier case. How can a man report rape?? His pride, dignity and self worth would dissipate terribly then. Think about it. Perpetrators could be the victims so they victimize others in order to achieve the perpetrator status. Think about it. Process it.

More sadistic posts to come. This is nothing.

Love,

the newly found sadist.

Deadly, lethal, potent.

Does that look evil enough?? :)

What hurts the most.

Is being so close.
Watching through windows, wondering if I'm okay.

Secrets stolen from inside.

Hurts unfurling, but if you fall, I will catch you.

Time after time.

The above doesn't make sense. It's not supposed to.

Feels like deja vu. AGAIN. Really haunting. I fell, and it shattered. Now, I'm scared I fall and it shatters again. Humans are so fragile. Deja vu is lethal. Dreams are deadly. But reality is deadlier. Especially if it keeps rearing its ugly head. Smashing it on ours.

Sorry about the emo-ness of these posts. Really going through a period of downhill and blogging actually helps me release my anger, pent up feelings and emotions. I can never really express myself. Sigh*

I actually do believe in the conspiracy theory, it does exist you know?? Sometimes, we feel that someone is out there to get us; and when we tell our close friends or even family,they'll diss it off as paranoia. But let me tell you this. If your gut instinct is really strong on that issue or matter, trust your own feelings then. But of course, NEVER let paranoia get the better of you :) Hmm, just went through a game of Russian Roulette. What's scary is, it's not physical. When people play that game with you and its a mental game, then you have to be standing on the tips of your toes. Or as far to the tips as you get.

I'm on a mental cliff right now. I'm on the edge. I'm looking down and suddenly, I don't lose my balance but I'm falling. Perhaps it was by my own inclination. I'm falling and flashes of the past run through my mind.But, I never reach the bottom. How scary is that?? To fall and never reach the bottom. To be caught in your own web and vortex of thoughts. They try to strangle you but in a subtle more gentlemanly way.

Sorry if I'm scaring you right now. Sometimes, mental pain and emotional stress does lead to some sadistic writings on my part. Once scarred, always scarred. Hard to change the cell type on the scabs.

You know you're going crazy when you realized you're at the dead end but you think it still goes on. When you fall and never reach the bottom but you keep falling and falling and falling. You know you're going crazy when dreams are your reality. You know you're going crazy if you ever start blogging like me :P

Night, have sweet dreams my dearies, LOL.

Love, the sadistic reality-in-check thinker.

Today was a fairytale. NOT.

Funny picture of me and Mr Prezzie.

Today was wonderful awesome.

Took a roadtrip down to Ipoh!! Wow right?? Keran and Ben plus Thevyah. Wasn't all that fun because it was burning hot in the car. No joke but man oh man. Had a wonderfully exhausting day. Sigh* Blissful memories. LOL.

I'm contradicting myself again :( Boo hoo. In a way. Okie, I'd better head back to my assignment. Research paper is calling me. Seriously, I hear it.

Bye for awhile :)

P.s# I said I wouldn't call but I lost all control and I need you now :(

Swirls.

Me being cultural :)

Hmm, humans are funny with emotions aren't they?? Haha I'm speaking like as if I'm not human. Well, we are.

I'm having this totally weird affect blend emotion flow right now. Have no idea why though. And I move too fast through things. Sometimes. It feels like I'm in a whole sirocco, a whole whirlpool of emotions. And everyone else, feels like the song from Sting I think?? It is so true in a way. It says: We are spirits, in a material world. Love the haunting tune to it. Sigh* I'm just feeling a real horrible affect blend on things. Can't even write how I feel properly on my blog. Had to leave the house at 6 am just now just to get to college on time. Dad sent me. Went to Nilai for the debate. You know what?? There were conspiracies. I think I just DO believe in the conspiracy theory. Does work, does happen. Seriously.

Oh and I've two new goals.

1-Stop swearing. I don't know where I picked the habit up from and I don't like it at all.

2-World debate. No matter how old I am :)

Okie. So there, we have it all down. I'm supposed to be doing a research paper but I'm blogging. LOL. It's actually okie because sometimes I work on my assignments and papers using blogger. Seriously, makes me feel more comfy, like as if I'm blogging.

Self-actualization. I never fit in. Have never, maybe will never. Wherever. I just stand out like a sore thumb. I really do. Gosh I don't know what is with my low, extremely low levels of endomorphins. Sigh* I need some kind of happy release?? Still stinging from certain emotional blows. You know, those could be extremely harmful. Really.

Words swirling through my head: Veto power, affirmative action, education for liberation, alternative action and solutions, politics, plots, sub-Saharan inequity, equity and more swirls. :)

Very hard to comprehend when they all stack up to become a book together with my mixed up emotion, pent up frustration and all.

Will try posting up another post as soon as possible. :( Lots of work, I feel bad neglecting my beloved blog.

Okie, night for awhile peeps!! All my love.

The flavour-less post and girl stuff :)

Sammy and me looking SO WEIRD!!

In Macker's today. had ice cream and now, a coke :P

Gosh!! So much to do :( Reading up on veto powers now. Had a glitch in debate yesterday. Sucked balls hard!! :(

I'm also reading up on Psychology for later. Sorry if I'm being so boring!! Haha I'll post something properly later :)

I got my period. It's a good thing!! Wouldn't want to get it on Saturday which is the day of my debate competition. Okie, will post more later!!

Ta, peepos.

My angry rant to "Someone".

Oh my gosh, I just encountered a hair-blowing, mind-boggling experience.

How immature can you get?? You and your bias ass assumptions. You and your scepticism, you and your questions that irk me. YOU and your accusations. Isn't it enough what you did?? And now you blame me for screwing your life. Glad I walked off and out the door. Can't imagine what a life trapped with you would be like. Glad I took the heed and advice of others.

Thanks for showing me your immaturity. You know, funny how you still can hurt me like that. Guess I NEVER knew you for who you are. You think I'm being immature?? Who wouldn't after all that was said?? You just made me blow my hair off my head. You think I don't know how and who they really are because I'm blinded. In fact I'm not. I do know. I am discerning. I know, I feel what people feel. You think I'm showing off now?? Just go ahead. Like I said, knowledge an maturity levels cannot be faked. You can't pull off a show of knowlegde. Let me tell you, just step on the debate rostrum and you'll know what it is like. Amazing how you managed to spoil my day. Thanks a whole bloody lot. No wonder he calls you an effing turb. You perhaps are one from the sound of it, TYPICAL!! Jumping to bias, clueless assumptions, judgemental and you're even obsessive. Once again, sorry to have stepped into your life. Now, whatever I do DOES NOT concern you. Amazing that people especially your group and "level" of friends can talk about me like that. All bloody bias assumptions based on visual impact.

You know who you are. YOU do indeed.

Starbucks, coffee, tumblers and just about everything else.

Blaze and I :) She's SOOO sexy!!

Oh gosh. I hate it when Blogger can't auto save. Really annoying, I had to refresh the page and I lost everything I had already typed :(

Well, I was just saying, yesterday was a totally epic day, really hilarious. Geetz, Wind and I make an odd bunch :P We are really an oddity that generate a lot of attention, especially with Blaze around giving me snake-gasms :P I'm in Starbucks now at 8.30!! So early right?? LOL.

I bought Lil her birthday present. Bought her a Starbucks coffee tumbler which is absolutely gorgeous!! Also bought my old teacher some coffee grounds :) Funny present but yeah, he needs it I think. He teaches the WHOLE DAY LONG.

Since I talk so much about being in Starbucks, I'll post two pictures of my notebook and Lil's tumbler with my Starbucks caramel frappucino :)

There you go :)

Ughh!! I'm supposed to be reading up on my debate topics yet I'm blogging. Shows how much "love" I dedicate to you, my fellow blog readers!! Haha. Gosh, I'm being silly :P Coffee rush!! Sigh* I really quite dislike certain topics given. The theme for the debate competition which I'm sure you all have heard or read a million times is "Equity, access and quality". But like yesterday, the government team scoped it down to : Race, religion and gender have no place in application forms for universities in the US. Gosh, that was a little hard to debate on. It went haywire. And I thought of myself as not bias at all. I just can't stand this girl in the debate group. Lol, it's a good thing she's not in my team. She just acts too smart which I can't stand at all because in real, she's superficial, with nothing up there. So her debate arguments are pretty much pointless which is certainly an OUCH!!

Apart from all that, everything at home is going on okie again. It's not so bad. Mum even acknowledges the spider's existence. Oops, I said I'd actually blog about Freddy!! I forgot. I totally forgot about him. Hold on, I'll try post another one today. Just give me about an hour to deal with social equity alright?? :) For debate later. As the lecturers blatantly told us that we suck balls hard in debate. I apparently lost my "bitchy touche" in debate as I kept apologizing yesterday. Trust me, IT WON'T HAPPEN today :) I'll get myself back. Whee!!

Tata audience. Love,

The caramel coffee lover!!

Why I ran away from home.

Ugly pictures of me wishing I could fly :)

So, I'm sure, some of you are curious about why I ran away from home. You see, my mum kept comparing me with other people. And it was a downward comparison mind you. To people who can't even do stuff right?? And she says stuff like "Look where you are now."

Like I said, the ONLY reason why I had to come out of UTAR, (My old uni) was because I couldn't stand the lecturers there, the environment and also, the multiple problems I had to face over there. It was mini series of never ending dramas.

It all started when, on Monday night, my mum came back and started mentally killing me because I had bought my beloved spider. I'll post some pictures on it up later. She asked me what I wanted to do with it and all. And me, being impulsive and somewhat irrational sometimes, I got so mad and kept my mouth shut, letting it all boil up inside me. I even offered to make my mum dinner.She got even madder and started comparing me and hurting me. It may seem small but yeah. And she told me to get rid of the spider. My baby tarantula!! I was like BOOM!! I exploded. I just ran upstairs and started crying. Mum started texting me really sarcastic messages. She's a psychologist mind you and she can be very very "scheming" and she plays with your head if she thinks she should. So yeah.

And dad, he started siding her as well. And dad, gosh!! I'm the aftermath of the passion of two geniuses I tell you. Dad's an engineer who basically knows everything, mum's a Psychology major and yeah, both are smart in their own arenas and fields. When mum worked in The Philippines last time, many people did warn her that she might get an autistic child because two extremely smart people produce genetic offspring that is a bit retarded. Not ALL but at least one. But guess my sissy and I are still pretty much quite normal kids with not a trace of autism :)

So yeah, usually at home, tempers flare here and there. Clash of opinions, mindsets differ and total want and need of control by all of us drive us up the wall. Mum and I have about the same temper. And dad, he's usually calmer and more level-headed but once he's starts, there's no stopping him. Right now, I'm back on my bed blogging and they haven't really spoken to me about what happened so I'm not sure if they're seething inside and just hiding it or I don't know :( Parents. Hard to decipher. SIGH*

I ran away, stayed in an old flame's place. With a "bear" and a blur. Although I was extremely blur too. LOL. And then, I went to college like normal, went for a presentation, and yeah, everything went out smoothly. I stayed with Geetz, I think you all met her before. She's such a cute little sweetie who can be very sly as well. So yeah. Stayed with her till yesterday afternoon and Wind was such a sweetie who sent me back from Geetz' place to the train station. He was a major help and a very very good emotional support.

I would like to make a public thank you to Jon, Sundra, Michael, G, Wind, Blaze, Tom, Geetz, Miss M, Miss G, and Yugen, Raj, Prem as well. Not forgetting Chriss and Mia and my other classmates. Thanks for being there for me in this "midlife crisis" of mine.

So yeah, I had some people helping me along the way. I had some fun out although I did miss my family and home and pets very much. Geetz had some problems as well. Her apartment unit was haunted. She actually felt it before, like someone was watching her. I saw "stuff" a few times and even Wind heard some "noises". But then, her two friends came over and they saw a clear apparition of a girl standing directly in front of the fridge. This creeped Geetz like crazy. She went all crazy and started crying, Wind and I tried to calm her. I even offered to take her back to my place but she declined, saying she could stay with her guy friend so I left it as that. Hope she's doing fine, I'll be seeing her tomorrow.

Well, ALL' said I guess. The summary of what happened. I'll post up another post later on Freddy :P I've to get ready for lunch now. It's Father's Day after all and HAPPY FATHER'S DAY TO ALL THE FATHERS OUT THERE AND TO THOSE READING THIS TOO!!

The nothing much post.

A funny picture. I put it up on Facebook and tagged a guy on the "hair". LOL.

You know, the most painful thing to ever happen is to have a soul close to you back stabbing. But then again, life is like that isn't it?? People make mistakes all the time, they should be forgiven. Lest they do it again and again then it's best we walk away.

Well, guess sometimes humans deserve second chances don't they?? The only thing I can never do is to forget a cheating guy's habits. LOL I 'll do the forgiving but the forgetting part will NEVER EVER come after that. Tee hee.

Umm, let's talk about happier things shall we?? I was just telling my dad I wish I could grow up faster. Seems like I grow down. I'm so short and I look like a baby. SERIOUSLY!! My face :( Wish it was more mature looking. LOL.

SIGH* I miss my dad.

I miss my sissy.

I miss the mammy. SIGH*

Going off soon to see my friends in their Thai boxing class. I'm going to see violence :) I don't condone it yet, I'm interested. Okie, I'll post this up before they come pick me up.

I miss Blaze, Tom and Wind, LOL Best ever.

So, Tata!!

Later, if I can.

Me, what I feel, rawness of me.

That's me in the picture, looking strangely weird.

Whatever. I'll leave you alone. You call me or sms without mr doing first. Truly disappointed.

That's what my dad sent me.

How am I to go home feeling like that?? What am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to react to what I did, to solve everything?? I spoke to two of my beloved lecturers, if they are reading this right now, Miss M, Miss G, you should know that I am indeed blessed to have you in my life, to have someone understand me at the level I'm at.

How can I stop disappointing people?? It's not that I do, it's that they mistake what I do, what I did for something else and yeah, it hurts when I'm misunderstood nearly ALL the time by people I love. Yes, running away from home does not help solve anything yet.

Yet again.

When hurts accumulate, and when they just burst, sometimes the pipe overflows because it can't be sustained anymore. The water in the dam, it has to overflow when the dam can no longer contain it, and that's exactly how I feel.

Wind, it's so hard for me to tell people how I feel. I really don't know why yet when I write it down or blog it out, it's so much easier. I express me through my writing. Me.

Dear ole me.

I just want to be the same me I was back then. Happy, although bogged down by worries; I wasn't all wrinkled and tired from worrying everyday.

I want to get up with a smile on my face instead of a frown.

I want to get up feeling happy instead of having aching shoulders due to stress and sorrow.

I want to walk with confidence again instead of a stoop.

I want people to get me instead of be below my level.

I want everything to be alright.
I want life to write itself out properly.

I'm in Mc Donald's now for wifi connection.

Guess I'm done ranting here. I'll post more in my next post alright?? I'll try post something again tomorrow. Hope I get Internet connection wherever I go.

Love,

The broken hearted kindred soul.

I ran away from home.

I'm currenly with Wind. In Starbucks somewhere :P

Phew. Ran away from home. i'LL tell you all more later. Have a nice picture of a snake. Wind's snake. I SO WANT ONE!! *Whiny brat voice*

Here. :)



SO GORGEOUS RIGHT?? Blaze is currently playing with me :) Love them.

Blaze amd Tom :P

Love you all :)

Aahh, snake-gasms!!

I currently want.

1. A Yorkshire terrier. (Not pudding) Tee hee.

2. A pet tarantula (Which I'm getting soon enough)

3. Ice cream!! (Craving for ice cream at 5.30 am) :P

4. More juicy books.

5. For Brazil to win the World Cup.

6. Better brains (they don't work so well in this freaking hot weather) SIGH*

7. To hit a club!! Craving for a sex on the beach or an orgasm!!

8. To be able to get into "his" head.

9. To be able to hang out with the AUP students more often. I love nerds :)

10. To be a super genius!!

Debate AGAIN, brainless morons and history.

Silly picture.

I'm seriously addicted to The Script. And their song, Break Even. Such a beautiful, haunting song. SIGH* I'm currently looking up Indian history and how it is linked to Africa. World history is a sad, haunting thing. It's beautiful as well but then, it gets gory at times. I miss Priya and Suria :( All of a sudden.

Anyway, I got asked out by a Malaysian rapper?? And this hurt my friend because she was the one who introduced me to him. And he's her idol. I hate it when the opposite sex gets in the way of my friendships. "You left me with no love, and no love to my name." :) The song that keeps playing and replaying in my head. And on my notebook :P

Haha, sorry if I currently keep talking about debate.
It's what helps me keep my sanity in this world of sorrows. Hmm, being overtly dramatic ain't I. But the debate I just had, two days ago left me quite speechless. My friend Karan actually resorted to calling women "sheep that should be ushered back into fences". I was boiling mad!! And we're in the same "gang"?? We hung out in Chilli's just the week before and enjoyed nachos together. LOL we threatened not to take him out Chilli-ing with us again :) He was in the opposition while I was in the government. And they made a serious mistake. They played with the pussy cat ;) I may look mild and cool but when my temper flares, there's no use trying to calm me down :) They actually brought up Greek mythology. Talking about how men rule better and how they have the brains and all. Hello?? The Goddess of wisdom is Athena and to put it frankly, she has a pussy :) Haha!! Forgive the crude language. Sometimes, crudeness is needed for emphasis. Athena was the goddess of wisdom and beauty. IN YOUR FACE ;) They should never have touched on Greek mythology. I'm a serious myth addict. LOL I mean, Poseidon, Zeus and Hades were okay but they ruled with their dicks. They had affairs with human women?? When they had heavenly wives, they vied, cursed each other and they were blood related. Ppfftt, if you ask me, plain stupidity.

Moving on..

Oh yeah, I'm going to get a pet tarantula :P I asked my friend about it and he gave me the number of the spider breeder. And he thought I was a guy. Haha is it THAT WEIRD for a girl to be so in love with exotic species of animals?? Animals are my life!! And the spiders cost a bomb!! Seriously. They're about 90-110 bucks EACH!! I'm just very afraid of one thing. Their death. What if, I get one and it dies because it doesn't like the food or the environment it's in?? Gosh, I'd be heartbroken :( I was so depressed when my Lovebug died. And Micky too. I miss that little old man of mine. Sob*

I'm currently very depressed about the bleak situations that our environment is in. I really feel like burning the heads of people who practise open burning. Brainless morons who couldn't care less. There are so many of this "species" in Malaysia. Dumb mentalities. You should see our beaches and rivers. Especially the river near my place. FILTHY, and the water is brown like tea with milk. It's seriously clouded and murky. Yucks, I believe they dump bodies in it :)

Politics in my country is also looking bleak. There was a political tsunami just about 2 years back?? And the new parties took over, new waves of mixed emotions, guess I'll just remain neutral. Bl**dy politics. Stupid Prime Minister, can't even govern the people. Sheesh. Forgive my rants :)

Once again, I shall stop here :) Don't want to further incur wrath in anyone, lest I end up in jail :P LOL.

Ta, peeps :) All my love. And M&M's ;)

Worldcup, Shakira and being gay.

Me, looking positively evil.

Tee hee, now everything on my blog is in orange :) My favourite colour!! Hope it doesn't give you all an eyesore :p

It's 4:31 am here and I'm wide awake and hyper :S Just went down to scavenge for food and I saw dad awake too, watching the match between US and England. LOL. I just had some oat crackers, M&M's and something else. GOSH, I feel awful :( Midnight snacking isn't as fun as it seems to be.

Hmm, so much to blog about. But I don't know where to start. I was just telling Jun that if I don't find a decent guy in a month's time, I'd give up on guys altogether. LOL I'll be a lesbian :P How cool is that?? Haha. But then again, I'm not THAT CROOKED :P I think. And I'm for BRAZIL in the FIFA Worldcup :P And Shakira's Waka Waka song is so hot!! She is still the bomb and the siren to me. WOOTS to Colombia :)

I just told myself I'm done with emotions yet I'm strangely attracted to this person. Hmm, curious if it's a guy or girl?? :p

Haha I'm straight, not to worry. Still, strangely attracted to this person although there isn't much to look at in him. I'm not the norm. SERIOUSLY!! Normalcy is what I crave for sometimes :( Kind of sad to be "ousted" all the time.

What I look for in a guy: Brains, wit, sarcasm (Witty sarcasm I find, is attractive, not empty pointless, hurtful sarcasm), and yeah. Height. He has to be taller. Haha I'm such a shortie so it doesn't matter anyway :P This horrific weather is blowing the brains out of my head!! GRRR!!

Okie, will post more. I love blog spamming :P My idea of fun. Haha!!
Ta, later ;)

Lego and dicks.

Yes, nerds are indeed hot :) Some of the hottest nerds in existence are Johnny Depp and Albert Einstein :P I love Einstein. Haha.

Well, debaters are usually known for their nerdiness. I LOVE DEBATING :) One of my major passions. Haha. Yet, most of the debaters I come across are pretty hot!!

I've some pictures of what my debate teammates and I did :) In a mall. In toysaurus to be exact :P







Kids who went in the Lego section must be wondering what those are. Imagine: Daddy, daddy. What are those sticking out in between the legs or those Lego robots?? HAHA!!

Friends and I created some Transformer robots in Lego form, complete with dicks ;)

Night for the third time!!

Bad pick-up lines and oil spills.

Me :)

Bad pick-up lines.
WORST I got was from Tanna :)

I have an Oreo pendant that I wear quite often and people know that's sort of like my signature necklace. Haha. I wore it to class in UTAR on my first day and Tanna came up to me and told me:

I love oreos and milk. Shock of all shocks and the oreo was "strategically dangling" in the right place. Haha you can take a wild guess on it ;)

Hmm. Other bad pick-up lines I've gotten?? This other weird, TOTALLY FREAKY GUY. He came up to me and said: You look like a brinjal. But I LOVE brinjals. Creepy no?? Haha. Phew*

Trying to think of the others I've gotten. I think those two are the most memorable, I should give those guys credit. Haha!!

Anyway, getting on to the more serious issues of this post. The oil spill in the ocean. Thanks very much, BP *Sarcastic tone* Now you've even managed to anger dear Obama who has a very even temper usually. Sheesh!! I took a look at the picture of how bad the oil spill was and nearly cried :( The poor pelican was completely utterly covered in oil :( SO SAD!! And I'm a pescatarian. SIGH* Where am I going to get my source of protein from now that the government has warned us about the "bad quality" of seafood?? YAY me right?? When it rains, it pours. LITERALLY. Life has been a series of downs. I'm just waiting to see my splendid rainbow after the storm!! WAITING :(

Oh please, don't test my patience any further.

P.S# I'm not as naughty as I think I am. LOL my friends were talking about sex positions and they mentioned the 6-9 position. I went like, HUH?? LOL. And Vie told me what a cum shot is. He had to explain. HAHA I am innocent indeed. *Wink*

P.s.s# Going to spam my blog more :P

CYBER LITTER. And goodnight for the second time ;)

What I want and like.

Geets and I.


What I want.
A world of peace, as cliche as it sounds.

Ice cream everyday. (Sorry if I bore you with talks of ice cream) LOL you can close your eyes if you see that word on my blog again ;)

A man in my life who would be there for me all the time. (Other than my dad) :)
-He would hold my hand, comfort me, take me on picnics, run with me in the wind, kiss me breathless, make me think I'm a romantic semantic (although I'm not one) :P
-He would respect me, take me for who I am and love me for it, let me play with all the stray animals I want, not get embarrassed when I stop to pet a cute dog by the road, love all my quirks and quirkiness.
-He would listen to me all the time, be a man when necessary yet understand my every whim, not say stuff that would hurt me, and listen when I need an ear, give me a shoulder when I need one.
-He would ALWAYS be there, silently or not, and most importantly, HE WOULD NEVER BREAK MY HEART. :)
-He would not think of me as weird but that I'm special and unique in my own brilliant way.

Haha. DREAM ON (Me telling me that)

Guys like that only exist in Dream land. I am not the typical girl :P I love wit, sarcasm and brains with a touch of humour, wet or dry.

I like cuddles and I don't mind cuddling up with a girl :) It's fun.

Hugs.



Geets and I in a weird hug :P (I look like a humongous hippo or something due to the scrunched up shirt) HAHA.

I want a pot of gold and smiles at the end of every rainbow.

I want a rainbow at the end of every storm.

I want you in my life. Because you are the only exception.



So says Woffle :p

Night peeps. Love.

Israeli politics.

ONLY FOR THOSE INTERESTED!!
BRIEF FACTS ON THE ISRAELI CONFLICT TODAY... (It takes just 1.5 minutes to read!)

It makes sense and it's not slanted. Jew and non-Jew -- it doesn't matter.


1. Nationhood and Jerusalem : Israel became a nation in 1312 BC, two thousand (2000) years before the rise of Islam.... Arab refugees in Israel began identifying themselves as part of a Palestinian people in 1967, two decades after the establishment of the modern State of Israel ..

Since the Jewish conquest in 1272 BC, the Jews have had dominion over the land for one thousand (1000) years with a continuous presence in the land for the past 3,300 years.

4. The only Arab dominion since the conquest in 635 lasted no more than 22 years.

5. For over 3,300 years, Jerusalem has been the Jewish capital. Jerusalem has never been the capital of any Arab or Muslim entity. Even when the Jordanians occupied Jerusalem , they never sought to make it their capital, and Arab leaders
did not come to visit.

6) Jerusalem is mentioned over 700 times in Tanach, the Jewish Holy scriptures. Jerusalem is not mentioned even once in the Koran.

7. King David founded the city of Jerusalem . Mohammed never came to Jerusalem .

8. Jews pray facing Jerusalem . Muslims pray with their backs toward Jerusalem .

9. Arab and Jewish Refugees: in 1948 the Arab refugees were encouraged to leave Israel by Arab leaders promising to purge the land of Jews . Sixty-eight percent left (many in fear of retaliation by their own brethren, the Arabs), without ever seeing an Israeli soldier. The ones who stayed were afforded the same peace, civility, and citizenship rights as everyone else.


10. The Jewish refugees were forced to flee from Arab lands due to Arab brutality, persecution and pogroms.

11. The number of Arab refugees who left Israel in 1948 is estimated to be around 630,000. The number of Jewish refugees from Arab lands is estimated to be the same.

12. Arab refugees were INTENTIONALLY not absorbed or integrated into the Arab lands to which they fled, despite the vast Arab territory. Out of the 100,000,000 refugees since World War II, theirs is the only refugee group in the world that has never been absorbed or integrated into their own people's lands. Jewish refugees were completely absorbed into Israel , a country no larger than the state of New Jersey ...

13. The Arab-Israeli Conflict: the Arabs are represented by eight separate nations, not including the Palestinians. There is only one Jewish nation. The Arab nations initiated all five wars and lost. Israel defended itself each time and won.

14. The PLO's Charter still calls for the destruction of the State of Israel . Israel has given the Palestinians most of the West Bank land, autonomy under the
Palestinian Authority, and has supplied them.

15. Under Jordanian rule, Jewish holy sites were desecrated and the Jews were denied access to places of worship. Under Israeli rule, all Muslim and Christian sites have been preserved and made accessible to people of all faiths.

16. The UN Record on Israel and the Arabs: of the 175 Security Council resolutions passed before 1990, 97 were directed against Israel .

17. Of the 690 General Assembly resolutions voted on before 1990, 429 were directed against Israel .

18. The UN was silent while 58 Jerusalem
synagogues were destroyed by the Jordanians.

19. The UN was silent while the Jordanians systematically desecrated the ancient Jewish cemetery on the Mount of Olives .

20. The UN was silent while the Jordanians enforced an apartheid-like a policy of preventing Jews from visiting the Temple Mount and the Western Wall.

Enjoy :p Peace!!

IT class is pointless :)

Pictures of me being bored in class. SIGH*
IT Class is indeed pointless :)

Ugh my tummy is rumbling. And my "momentary" bout of depression isn't so momentary after all. I just feel isolated all the time. Like I've no place to fit in. Is it normal in teenage life to feel like that?? I feel lost and left out all the time like I don't have a group to fit in with, anywhere. I just miss Lynn!! SIGH* I wish I could have her everywhere I go.

College, classes, outings, movies, she's the one who really understands me. And phew* Glad I found my debate teammates. They are awesome people and I'll show you my beloved audience, some pictures of us having fun in this mall called "Empire Gallery".

Had so much fun with them. Most of them are in the science field, actuary, bio medical sciences and all :) Ooh books just make me happy!! I just borrowed two from the library :) I love the INTI library. As weird as it sounds, I do :P

YAY I've just eaten some sandwiches. Yummy!!Tuna and egg :) With some tomato. Yum!! I don't like white bread. Weird as it sounds again. Everyone doesn't like wholemeal or rye bread but I love grainy bread. AND PEANUT BUTTER!! I just had a load of peanut butter yesterday. Yum!! Haha. Okie, I'll try posting another one today. Have been neglecting my darling blog recently. It's so sad :( My poor notebook that I'm using to type this out. DENTED!! UGHH!! :S

Love,
The peanut butter freak XOXO.

Just when life can't get any worse it does!!

Jack and I.



I miss her :( Elaine and I. (I'm on the left.)
OMG What else could possibly happen?? I dropped my BABY!! I dropped my Prince Caspian :(

I dropped my darling notebook. He's dented. Imperfect now. I'm typing on him though. It's a good thing he's still working :) SIGH* But I think I've to change the housing or casing on him :'( SIGH*

Just when I think life can't get any worse, it just gets worse :( I fell on my derriere down the stairs and then together with me, bumped Prince on the sharp edge of the stairs :( SO SAD RIGHT!! SIGH* And life for me currently seems to be having a lot of downturns more than uplifts. Really saddening. Boo hoo.

But I shall not bore thee, fellow followers of mine. Haha!! I shall continue typing normally and act happy. What else can I do right, but to moan and whine and grind about it. Oops, did I just say grind?? Hmm, my bad. Grind?? What was I thinking about??

Oh I speak Swahili now. Just started learning it, have to improve on my style and pronunciation :) I need a likizo :'( SIGH* Badly!! Nina fanya kazi. Nitaka kustarehe :( But na-enda kazini. BOO HOO* So sad right!! OMG WHY DOES MALAYSIA HAVE TO BE SO FRIGGING HOT?? Can't it bl**dy snow here?? ANNOYING WEATHER!! EVERYDAY, WE HAVE TO STAND THE HOT WEATHER. FRYING HOT :'(

Okie I'll post more later. Ta ta :)

Love the "hot person". :(

Hmm.

Having a bout of depression. Hope it's momentary. Sometimes, knowing too much kills.

Thinking too much kills as well. Yet I want a brain like my idol, Einstein. (No Frankenstein)<<<<- My pathetic attempt at a joke when I'm so down and out.

Oops. Need a bath. Will blog more in a while :p

Ta.

I HATE DRAMA.

(The man I miss the most right now. AND HE DOESN'T READ MY BLOG!!) My best buddy. LOL.

Gosh, I hate drama. GAWSH I HATE DRAMA!!

Can't it see or hear that I hate it??

And don't contradict yourself. If you hate a type of people, check yourself first. You might be contradictory and have the exact same qualities as them.

Also, grow up. When you have a spat or disagreement with someone, don't pull others especially those who don't know what happened and are innocent along with it. And if someone does something, they have reasons.

That's the very reason why they air criminal minds. To get inside the mind of criminals to see if they know what they do is wrong.

Seriously mad, pissed, angry, everything. Sad, depressed, upset, down. All the negative emotions are combining to become a huge whirlpool inside me. SIGH is all I can say. I F*CKING hate drama, LOATHE IT!! Hope it sees this. Drama, I mean.

Signing off,
The one who understands.