Me, what I feel, rawness of me.

That's me in the picture, looking strangely weird.

Whatever. I'll leave you alone. You call me or sms without mr doing first. Truly disappointed.

That's what my dad sent me.

How am I to go home feeling like that?? What am I supposed to do?? How am I supposed to react to what I did, to solve everything?? I spoke to two of my beloved lecturers, if they are reading this right now, Miss M, Miss G, you should know that I am indeed blessed to have you in my life, to have someone understand me at the level I'm at.

How can I stop disappointing people?? It's not that I do, it's that they mistake what I do, what I did for something else and yeah, it hurts when I'm misunderstood nearly ALL the time by people I love. Yes, running away from home does not help solve anything yet.

Yet again.

When hurts accumulate, and when they just burst, sometimes the pipe overflows because it can't be sustained anymore. The water in the dam, it has to overflow when the dam can no longer contain it, and that's exactly how I feel.

Wind, it's so hard for me to tell people how I feel. I really don't know why yet when I write it down or blog it out, it's so much easier. I express me through my writing. Me.

Dear ole me.

I just want to be the same me I was back then. Happy, although bogged down by worries; I wasn't all wrinkled and tired from worrying everyday.

I want to get up with a smile on my face instead of a frown.

I want to get up feeling happy instead of having aching shoulders due to stress and sorrow.

I want to walk with confidence again instead of a stoop.

I want people to get me instead of be below my level.

I want everything to be alright.
I want life to write itself out properly.

I'm in Mc Donald's now for wifi connection.

Guess I'm done ranting here. I'll post more in my next post alright?? I'll try post something again tomorrow. Hope I get Internet connection wherever I go.

Love,

The broken hearted kindred soul.