Immersion into the beyond.

I have a tonne of pictures like that :P New hair, new pictures :)

It's been an okay year. I just hope things would look better next year :) Not so grim and bleak. I've been immersing myself in Jodi Piccoult's book Second Glance and it just seems to get better and better. I can't seem to put it down. I just came back from Bangkok yesterday :) Have had a night to recover from a little exhaustion. It is a very splendid place but too bad I don't speak Thai :) It's gorgeous, the Mc Donald's chains there actually have pork pies and stuff. Something my country does not have. Sigh* Things in Malaysia are looking bleak again.

You know, the censorship regimes and all, have just seem to have gotten worse. It never gets better. This gay man, he's a Malay, he came out on youtube. Just to say that he's gay. And the whole "country" is in an uproar. An apparent brouhaha about it. Ya know, he's Muslim, he should not be gay. Such "religious beings" they seem to portray themselves as. We only know better. It's Christmas eve over here on the equator :) 

You know what's funny?? I could get into trouble for saying this but I don't think I care anymore. It's funny how they make a HUGE ISSUE when some Malay man comes out to admit that he's homosexual. It's funny how they BLOW THINGS UP INTO APPARENTLY CRAZY PROPORTIONS when a Christian uses the word "Allah" in church. They have claimed the word to be of their own religion. It's hilarious. Allah is an Arabic term for God. It's no biggie that Christians are allowed to use it. I mean, language DOES NOT BELONG TO ANYONE. We are all allowed to use it. Seriously. Also, it's funny that the bombing of the churches in the Kuala Lumpur region just got swept under the rug. They do enormous amounts of monstrosities in the name of their religion "Islam" which is actually a VERY PEACEFUL religion. Really. These bastards just take it out of context and everything including the peace of a nation goes spiraling out of control. Forgive my blatant french. Some things should be spewed out when they can't be contained ;)

I wish I could just go about singing, "I don't worry cuz' everything's gonna be alright."

Sigh* Talking to Diana now. She gives me comfort. She's a Lebanese friend of mine, think I've mentioned her before :) An amazing girl, a beautiful dancer as well. We both share a lot and I feel she is as mature as I am although she's only 17. Sigh* Life as it is. And yesterday, Mirul kept me company. He's amazing. I was singing to him and thinking about the past, precious moments, not so happy moments and all. All coughed out because I was talking to Liang about things. I miss things the way they were. When we were all a little happier. :) Moments like these. Sigh*

Have been reading a lot about eugenics, fascism, segregation and bluh. Beliefs, where is the stem of what is wrong and right??

Have you ever been in a room FULL of other humans; but you've never felt SO ALONE like that before. You've never felt so empty. People know you. But only on the outside. They don't know who you really are. What makes you tick. They only know you based on what they've heard about you. Like they say, your reputation precedes you. So yeah. Have any of you ever felt this way?? :) Voices in your head go, "STOP STARING AT ME." And they taunt and they taunt and they taunt. They don't let you sleep. They call you names. And you realize, you're not in a nightmare, it is really happening. People are really doing that. It's not the voices, it's external after all.

Sometimes, ED is not the answer. We all wish it were. How we all give in to it. In our own world. If only you could understand. If only. When it happened, was I in love with a fictional character?? Like Di said. Someone so perfect I created it out of my own figment of imagination. Imagination can be a weapon. A deadly one.

Just like the mind. One wrong move, and it kills.

That's all folks :)

Lots of bubbly bubbles and love,

Lishia.