Dear Miss Moon,
I'm an ex army corporal. I was supposed to be promoted in my ranking in the army. But now, I'm out because when I served, an enemy soldier threw a grenade at me. I didn't know it was thrown and I ran back to my tank. It was a plasma grenade and it stuck to my pants, right at the crotch area. It blew up my crotch and now I'm dickless :( Please help me. Many people have suggested that I go for a transplant because now I'm empty down there :(
My voice has also become more feminine and I feel myself bending towards the fairer sex. Bending as in, I love cleaning up, doing housework and even knitting and baking. I also love women's perfume and lingerie. This has become a serious issue because my son is beginning to despise me for my weird behaviour. Please help me, Miss Moon.
Mr he-she.
My reply:
Dear Mr he-she, I think you should undergo a sex change operation first of all. You can't be a hermaphrodite and now, you're in the middle. Fence-sitters don't really do well in life. Seriously. Become a woman, and I'll teach you all the basics to becoming a real woman :)
WHOA I'm actually speechless for the first time. A plasma grenade blew up your crotch!! Haha, forgive my laughter, that's news to me. You know, you should start with hormone injections. Inject more female progesterone into your blood and you'll feel more womanly almost instantly ;)
Hmm, you like lingerie?? Audrey, Triumph, Bee Dees and La Senza have some pretty nice bras and panties for you to check out :) They come in any colour. Victoria's Secret has some pretty yummy chocolate smelling perfume as well. Oh your son is beginning to hate you?? Tell him it's alright to have two mummies in the house ;)
Also, shave ALL your hair off or use weed killer to remove any hair in any area. Hair on a woman on any part except her head is unsightly :) Do just that and you'll be fine.
Here, a picture for you to show the plastic surgeons.
Love, Miss Moon.
A week later's headlines: Woman sues Miss Moon, the famous newspaper columnist for her apparent divorce, claiming to be happier as a man.
Oops, credits to Rich for telling me about the plasma grenade in computer games :P
<3 Shia aka Miss Moon.
Oops, credits to Rich for telling me about the plasma grenade in computer games :P
ReplyDeleteYeah, because that's the only place they exist. :P
Haha yeah, I recently have a fetish for becoming a major gamer. Like those crazy nerd types :P
ReplyDeleteJust me. haha.
A major gamer? What--like poop-socking and everything? :P
ReplyDeleteHaha yeah, somethin like that :P
ReplyDeleteI admire those gamer types that can just sit and game for hours!! Sometimes I get a bit nauseous when I game too much. And I'm a major eardrum shatterer because I scream when I game out of sheer overexcitement. HAHA!! Pity my guy friends :S