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As usual, it's an unearthly hour again and I'm supposed to be sleeping :/ Suffering from a few bouts of insomnia. Literally. American History's boggling the mind :) Also replaying some moments spent with a dear friend today. Thank you Jun for listening to me while I had my "mask" off. I really care for you and yeah, thanks for being a good friend ;)

Oh sigh* I always can't seem to sleep at night. It must be the sleeping pattern that I have, all jumbled up. I am craving for something cheesy. Lasagna perhaps?? Yum* Or some cheese wedges?? Or, I don't know :( A cheeseburger/pasta?? Yummy* My "brian" won't stop thinking about food now. HAHA. A food enthusiast I am. Food will be the death of me, literally.
I realized, loss is like an everlasting scar. A pain that would NEVER ever go away. Not in a million years.
I am very fortunate to still have both my parents who love and care for me. I'm seriously showing them my potential this year. I'm just glad 2011 started well, and although I have to walk through certain periods of time with a mask, I'm just thankful that I have people still believing in me. In everything I do. This past few days taught me that my younger sister Lil, loves me, she adores me!! I admit, I have screwed up a few times in certain areas. Yet, she follows what I tell her and yes, she's brilliant!! Just painfully shy :) I have a good family and I'm thankful. Loss, like I said, generates a lot of irrational behavior including insanity be it permanent or temporary.


I just want you fellow bloggers/readers to know that I want to use my blog as a hotline. If any of you have problems, suicidal tendencies, or you've just lost someone close to you, I really just want you all to know that I care. Really. With all my heart, I do. You can email me if you want, my email address is in my profile information. I will be here for you, it's a promise I won't break. I have gone through a lot as well. I know what pain is :) So yes, nothing too small/big for me to listen to, I guess. Girls dealing with low self esteem/bulimia/anorexia can talk to me through emails. I will reply them, slowly but surely. I mean it. 


Sometimes, I guess I'd just like to erase some pain (little as it may be) from people's memories/lives. No one deserves to constantly be in pain :( It hurts me to see and watch others suffer. If any one of you have family members/someone close having cancer, talk to me about it. My own mum survived :) She was a cancer patient. Womb cancer, and till this very day, I am so grateful she's here with me. I have experiences :) Many of my friends and people close to me have broken families. Or they're adopted. I know how it's like. It's alright, and everything said and told to me, will be kept a secret. CROSS MY HEART. 


:) Alright, with this, I'll sign off.


Someone really cares. Just so you know :)
Love, Shia.